North Korea, Best Korea!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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