i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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