ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
