K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
