no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Randomize
