Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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