in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
