The maid of honor just puked.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
