Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Farmville is her only friend.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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