But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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