just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
