Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just found puke in my bra..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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