Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A bitchslap is in order.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
