you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
