4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
