your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
