Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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