He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize