True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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