It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
