just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
