I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
