Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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