Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
