Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
