Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
