I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he puts the penis in happiness.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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