That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
