I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
