Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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