Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
