A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
