The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
