This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
