I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was born a porn star she said
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
