That's when you crack a 10am beer
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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