so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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