she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
