Sry I called you an 8
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
