grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
