I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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