It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
