dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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