is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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