Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
