we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize