YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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