Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
