Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
