she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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