Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
