I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We talked him into tasing himself.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
