I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
