Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
