Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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