im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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